Jared Rea

Hey guys, remember the PSP?

Shelby and I are currently attempting to tie up all the loose ends around here before we pick up our rental car (her mother insists, my Nissan isn’t complaining) and begin our holiday trip. There are clothes to be packed, pets to round up and a special holiday edition of We Could Be Heroes to prepare.

While making a mental inventory of everything I want to bring to her folks place, I realized that I may just be the only person I know actually bringing my PSP and leaving the DS at home. To add to this blasphemy, my iPhone will most likely assume the role of my primary gaming device (when I’m not leeching their bandwith to take part in the City of Heroes Mac beta, that is). I gave it a long overdue update and loaded it up with a fresh batch of games.

I Love Katamari - Talk about a dramatic turn of events. The Prince went from being the worst anything ever to exactly what we expected in the first place. Namco patched up the iPhone version of Katamari with the quickness and now, while a little slower than I’d like, it’s probably the best portable version of the game around.

Rolando - It’s a shameless rip on Sony’s Loco Roco only with the tilt control required to make it better! This one has been making the rounds a lot, usually with folks saying its the best iPhone game ever. I’d say its it makes a good argument. 

Dr. Awesome - I’ve put off getting this game for the longest time, but I finally picked it up thanks to the recent sale. Truth be told, while I love Qix, it’s actually the Gals Panic series that makes me so excited over a new line puzzler. Everything is better with boobies, but Dr. Awesome’s goofy dramatics are good too.

ESPN Cameraman - The true king of iPhone gaming. Its the best photo hunt game since Megatouch hit the arcades and even better, it’s free! I’ve been singing the praises of Cameraman for a while now, as its my favorite portable game of the year. It’s true, I’ve gone casual.

With the PSP it’s going to be nothing but nonstop DJ Max Clazziquai Edition, as I still owe some folks a review on that. What are you planning to roadtrip with this week?

Seth would always tell me, “I’m going to the crack house this weekend. You want in?”

That’s how I knew Keystone II before my first visit. With respect to its owner, Albert, its a much classier establishment than that. For that brief period of time where I was full-steam ahead on the “No Country for Old Arcades” series (which may return in 2009), the garage arcade in San Jose was only my second stop, but I knew I had found my favorite. When folks ask me what my favorite arcade is, I’m quick to tell them Arcade Infinity down south, but that’s due to a mix of history, nostalgia and atmosphere. Keystone II, however, is the real deal. Now if only I could actually get down again sometime. Papa needs to test his new Fei-Long.

I’m tossing this one back up not only due to a dramatic increase in traffic of folks searching for it (I wonder why..), but also because it’s my favorite article. Number one in my writing samples, even. I know a lot of the folks down there and I wanted to do them justice, not just tell people how fucking cool it is. Because guess what, it’s real fucking chill. Enjoy!

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The Escapist writers are all putting together lists of their top five favorite games of 2008. Being one of those people, I got to have my say today and boy will you ever be surprised. I usually make a big deal about end of year awards and all that, have my own special ones and everything, but not this year. I’m just not feeling particularly inspired by this year of games. Needless to say, I just played a lot of Street Fighter.

This is the point in the blog where I also start putting so much freaking effort into it. Downgrade? Probably! It really just means that I’m going to stop doing all the image headers and all that. That’s my job again, so I don’t want to spend so much time making this one all fancy.

I’m watching “Talking Heads: Stop Making Sense” through streaming Netflix on my Xbox 360. I remember a time where I was standing in Amoeba Records, hold the woefully overpriced DVD in my hands, wondering just how badly I required my life to be enriched by the live acts of David Byrne. Really, there shouldn’t be any question as to how awesome the New Xbox Experience is. It’s so awesome.

I was a bit disappointed by the Avatar options, but it seems as though Microsoft is already on the case and for free, at that. To the horror of “the core,” I really have no problem with paying for Avatar customization options and am actually looking forward to the upcoming Avatar store. What can I say, I love my virtual barbie dolls. I’m more excited, however, for when developers start offering up Avatar clothing for achievements, much like they already do now with gamerpics. 

The interesting part now is to see how, after reinventing their console, Microsoft keeps the NXE fresh even a year or so from now. Maybe that has something to do with the Primetime game functionality moving to next year, maybe not. It’s probably for the best though. I’d like for them to fix the whole, look-at-your-friends-list-and-the-entire-thing-crashes issue.

During the heyday of Bemani gaming at Sunnyvale Golfland, we played a variety of crummy games to pass the time between turns of Beatmania IIDX. There was Cruisn’ World which was later given the moniker “Tatsujin Racing.” A revival of the greatest arcade sports game ever, NBA Showtime and of course, the shady-ass redemption game, Flamin Finger.

What made Flamin Finger so endearing was that it cheated. Shamelessly, at that. The premise of the game is to guide through a touch-screen maze with your finger before time runs out. The only problem is that the closer you get to the end of the maze, the timer speeds up immensely, as evidenced on YouTube. Your reward was some ill-straight techno beats all up in your shit while the machine screamed at you.

Now you can experience the greatness that is Flamin Finger  for free on your iPhone with MazeFinger. It’s essentially the same thing, only it doesn’t cheat, which almost defeats the purpose. Don’t forget to place a piece of paper under your finger to decrease friction!

Sounds good, doesn’t it? Well, someone had to make the photoshop above. Expect something a bit more substantial once everything settles in. Now that this election cycle is over, I think I can finally get some rest.

We come to it at last, the great battle of our time. It is in men that we must now place our hope.