Jared Rea

If you could go back in time and tell your younger self anything, what would it be? It’s something we all wish we could do, be it for noble or selfish reasons. But what if all you could talk about were videogames? What then? That’s the question proposed by one of the more interesting GAF threads this weekend and it’s one that I’ve put a bit of thought into.

When it comes to games I’m proud of my background and definitely wouldn’t tell my younger self to avoid any bad games or anything like that. I would most likely warn him of the hype machine and how to manage his money better.I figure I’d better start at writing him a letter. 

Jared

Though I’m sure you won’t believe this, have faith. I’m you, writing to my younger self from the future. I can’t tell you much about the future, less we run the chance of you growing up to be a casino tycoon while dating your rivals mother. Well, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, but I can only share with you information regarding the only thing you probably care about: videogames

.I can’t say for sure when this will reach you. Maybe you’ve already blown all that birthday money to purchase a TurboGrafx-16 for Street Fighter. It could be 1991 and you’re kicking yourself, having just played Street Fighter II. I’ll share what I can.

No matter what the kids on the playground say, Sonic and Mario will someday join forces. This may be hard to comprehend, but the great war between Sega and Nintendo will eventually come to a close with neither of them winning. Regardless, they will star in games together. Their one headlining act, however, won’t be in an action title. No, it’ll be a game created to celebrate the Olympic games of 2008. I shit you not.

Speaking of Sonic, I know you love him now and so I want you to appreciate the good times. Play Sonic 3 & Knuckles until your brain goes numb and read all those comic books, but those days will come to and end and you won’t want anything to do with the guy starting with a title called Sonic Adventure. And yes, you will grow up, feeling weird having owned the Princess Sally mini series.

Don’t believe everything you read. The most honest opinions will be found in, of all things, Game Players and yes, you are valid in thinking it weird that Chris Slate gives Super Mario 64 a perfect score, even if you don’t disagree. He later goes on to write for Nintendo. When Next Generation goes under, get a subscription to Edge UK. It’ll be your only hope until you get Internet access.

And when you touch that fabled Internet, create one journal for gaming and stick to it! Don’t fall into the goofy screen name trap either. For my sake, ditch them once you get out of high school or at least by the time you get a real job. You don’t need people coming up to you and calling you by the same name you use to play Unreal Tournament.

Enjoy Japanese RPG’s while you still can. Phantasy Star, Chrono Trigger, Secret of Mana … all of these games are great. Unfortunately, it’s all downhill from there. Also, don’t buy into the Final Fantasy VII hype. When you get older, you’ll realize just how lame it really is.

Do you love Bungie yet? Most likely, you do. In any case, be sure to make some sort of ridiculous bet with your friend regarding the release of Halo. Laugh when he runs off to buy an iMac during MacWorld 1999. It’ll be years before either one of you own the game, it won’t be for Mac and he’ll be stuck playing Quake 3 at 12 frames per second.

For your first big computer purchase, don’t build a crazy rig for Half-Life 2. Not only will it be a bitter disappointment, but it’ll be obsolete by the time the game comes out two years later.

Play as much Prop Cycle, Top Skater and 18 Wheel Pro American Trucker as humanly possible. You’ll never again see a functioning unit of these titles ever again. By the same token, hang on to your Artdink titles for dear life. Believe it or not, these will be the only games you regret losing and why would you ever want to get rid of Carnage Heart and Tail of the Sun anyway?

When you start traveling around the country, competing in a videogame about dancing (seriously), actually practice before you go anywhere or else you’ll be kicking yourself every time. That and you’ll make a lot more money that way.Finally, the clouds in Super Mario Bros. are recolored bushes. Good luck.

- Jared