Jared Rea

Unlike my good buddy Ray over at 1UP, I don’t plan on pissing all over Hudon’s latest XBLA offering, but instead doing quite the opposite. Which in this case I’m going to assume is sneaking up behind the team of Omega Five and dousing them in an icy bath of Gatorade like they just won the Super Bowl, only to have this act of celebration turn into a sticky inconvenience 15 minutes later when all that sugary syrup dries out. This metaphor is surprisingly accurate as I was about ready to start high-fiving those around me after the opening levels, only to have the third stage boss completely obliterate me with screen-filling buzz saws which proved to be quite the kill joy.

Even so, for as many complaints as I’m hearing about the difficulty, I just haven’t seen it yet. Sure, your character is about 10 feet tall and has the hit box of your common whale, but it’s not like there’s much in the way of intricate bullet dodging. Omega Five’s difficulty comes from forcing said 10 foot goliath into tiny pathways and then cramming enemies so far up your ass that you’d think this is what a robot receiving an enema would look like. Bosses aside, getting through the levels is more about being in the right place at the right time than anything else, but that seems to be what the horizontal shooter is more about than say your average vertical shooter. Of course, this is all coming from someone who doesn’t consider any shooter a challenge unless they sport the Touhou Project branding, so I’m probably just insane.

Priced at 800 Billy Bucks, Omega Five’s four levels does seem a bit tough to swallow, but playing with each of the four characters and their unique gimmicks tactical options does give it a lot more replay value than I initially suspected. There’s also a New Game+ mode to shut jerks like me up who think its too easy by doing away with the health meters all together, but even then I’d probably complain about still being able to actually fight back. Where’s the challenge in that?